So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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