You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
where are my eyebrows?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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