I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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