Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
