my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
