I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
