is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
