i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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