IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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