I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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