If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had to cum in my sink.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
