I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
