would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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