She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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