Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
