Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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