So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
