Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
