On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
