I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
