Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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