You really coming over, don't trick.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
