Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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