you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
