I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize