I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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