it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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