u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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