Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
