yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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