Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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