what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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