The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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