So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I pour the whiskey from now on
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
