i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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