We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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