This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
