Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
