So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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