the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
