I wish you could order shots online.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize