oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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