just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
