dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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