yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
