SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
