She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
