Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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