I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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