so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
