well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
