rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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