do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
