let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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