I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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