I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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