i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
