Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
where does the pee come out of this thing
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They took my balls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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