Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
