If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
