You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
