I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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